Is 'I-DO' For You? | What to Consider Before Getting Engaged


OK, I'll admit, I am incredibly guilty of this. Sometimes when you're dreaming about a moment for so long the significance of the actual event diminishes, and it starts to become a competition against yourself.  

For some reason, (most) (girls) {lets not assume}, dream about their wedding day from a very young age. I'm not exactly sure why, maybe it's because I loved looking at my parent's wedding album, or maybe it's because it's just what I thought was normal, and that was enough for my mind to be in a never-ending planning mode for 25+ years.

I think some people mistake the feeling of wanting a wedding, with the desire to get married, and these are two seriously different emotions. And lets be frank here people -- weddings aren't cheap. 

According to the Wedding Planning website The Knot, the average cost of a wedding in the states (2015) is - take a deep breath  $32,641. Now, if you're a cheap person like me, you have most likely just cartoon-ishly spat your drink across the room looking at that number. Higher than most student loans, I'm just wondering why someone would invest that much on just one day. But that is beside the point. 

If you're looking to drop a good 30K, you best be a thousand precent sure that the dude/lady you are marrying is "the one" or at least, better than everyone else out there in your opinion. 

Here are a few things you should consider before you shout yes, to the always desired "Will you marry me?" inquiry. 

Are you really with the right person?

This seems a bit silly, I know. Having to ask yourself if you're with the right person, when you are already considering marriage, but it's vital. You may think you are with the "right" person, but know deep down inside that maybe they aren't. If your significant other is starting to show signs now, just imagine what they are going to do once you are locked into a contract (remember, that is what marriage is, a contract). If you're still fighting over little things, if you can't trust him/her, if you're holding secrets from one another, if you don't like their family... really consider these facts and decide if it will be worth a lifetime of sharing not only your space, but also your finances with. 

 Is this a good time financially?

Speakin' of money, that's another HUGE factor in planning a wedding. Like I mentioned above, weddings aren't cheap. Even if you plan on having a small wedding, remember those cost a pretty penny as well. Remember, you are paying for a lot more than the actual wedding. There are sneaky things that will take up a lot of time and money that are usually not something you can cheap out on. Lets see, with showers, bachelorette/bachelor parties, rings, flowers, photos, deposits, the pre-wedding-gym-membership... this stuff adds up, and this is just the before part.  If you're like me, and the only thing holding you back is money, maybe consider a second job for a little more income. If you can't afford a wedding, you should probably wait.

Can you book the time off work?

Did you just take a promotion? Are you spending all of your free time at work? Will your busy schedule allow you to take time off for your wedding, and your honeymoon? All of these considerations are vital, because, as noted, weddings are not cheap. It's important to find balance within your personal life and your career to allow growth in all areas. Make sure you and your partner are stable within your careers before you make any plans to tie the knot. 

Do you want the same things?

Have you and your partner talked about having kids? travelling for work? religion? politics? moral beliefs? If you both want different things, it's better to find out before you sign the marriage papers. 

Are you best friends?

For me, this is the most important quality in any loving relationship. Does your partner care for you deeply? Do they have your best interest in mind? Do they trust you? Do you trust them? Most importantly, do you have fun together?  Do you binge watch way too many episodes of The Mindy Project while you fold laundry and drink cheap wine together? This is the person you will be spending every day with, for the rest of your life - you better hope you're buds, too.

Are you ready?

This question is blatantly obvious for a good reason. Ask yourself, are you ready? Marriage is a big commitment. Like a tattoo, a child, and a car, marriages are things you must take care of them. If you aren't ready to take care of something so big, you most likely are not ready. 

Only you can truly know yourself. 

XO, Lia